Day 3 – How old were you when you knew? What was that like for you?

I knew knew when I was 14. I'd been a sheltered child and I'd known I was different from about age 8 but it took me 6 years to realise what that difference was. It was hard at first, I felt alone and I didn't dare even let myself think about it in case somebody guessed. I put it to the back of my mind and continued trying to blend into the wall.

I tried to tell friends when I was 15 but they didn't understand so back into the closet I went. When I was 16 and doing my Transition Year one of the boys in our inter-school play had a crush on me. I was flattered, nobody had ever looked at me like that or wanted to hang out with me. So we dated but it never felt right. We broke up a few months later and he is still a good friend of mine. I was set up with another boy when I was in my final year of secondary school, a friend of a friends boyfriend. We dated for 18 months, my longest relationship to date. It was easy, we got on well and just plodded on. But I knew it wasn't what I wanted.

I finished secondary and went to university, a good deal away from home, but I was commuting. Away from the routine and regime of school I fell under very quickly and got very depressed. Once I'd been put on anti-depressants I began to realise that I was leading my then boyfriend along and I wasn't happy in our relationship. It killed me but I broke up with him. I spent the next 6 months figuring out what it was I wanted.

And the rest is for another blog.