Friday, August 7, 2009

feminism in 2009

I've just read an article about modern feminism and if young women would consider themselves feminists. I personally would consider myself a feminist, but not one of those "grr i hate men and I'll burn my bra" feminists (perhaps because i need my bra, perhaps because men are delightfully drama free).

This got me thinking about the behavior of young women, the way we dress, the way we act, our priorities and goals. I'm going to quote someone who's a well known lesbian icon, despite being married to a man. Singer P!nk, in her song 'Stupid Girls', says: "
What happened to the dreams of a girl president/ She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent". P!nk presents a loaded statement here (nothing out of the ordinary there). Politics is one of the many institutions in first world countries countries across the globe that is still mainly male dominated. Women are looked down upon as candidates because we are still seen as incapable of having a family and a successful career.

I want a career. I have plans to be a youth worker, and to hopefully one day manage my own youth project. I also want to be a mother and a wife, to have a home I can be proud of as well as a meaningful career. I am lucky really because the field I want to get into is very accepting of working mothers and of difference as a whole. But I also in my lifetime want to see more women in the Dail, a female Taioseach (Prime Minister), women as CEO's of powerful companies. It's not because I feel men are doing a bad job, not all of them are. But I want to see a world where women can shine. Where our health system allows us to manage working and children. Where more men experience the joys (and hard work!) of sustaining a household and raising children. Maybe if there is more role reversal the jobs that women do now will be appreciated to their full value.

Because I still believe that behind every successful man there are a team including brilliant women.

Letter to Dermot Ahern

Dear Mr Ahern,

I am writing to you on behalf of the members of the BeLonG To Youth Services. BeLonG To is a group for LGBT young people aged 14-23. It creates a safe space; free from many of the prejudices and discrimination faced by a lot of young people who are, or are perceived to be, LGBT.

We are a vastly varied group of people, each with our own talents, views and lives. But we all agree on one thing. You are not doing enough for us.

A month ago we ran a workshop in our main Sunday group. Our aim was to discuss the Civil Partnership Bill and our feelings about it. The following are quotes and stories taken from that workshop:


It is a disgrace that this country does not allow LGBT people to get married. On all accounts, this is a violation of human rights and dignity, and is unfair to the LGBT community of Ireland. We are all human and should be given the right to marry. Imagine if you were told you couldn’t marry your partner? How unhappy would you be? I am tired of being treated like a second-class citizen because of my sexuality and I know a lot of other people in the LGBT community feel the same I see being denied the human right to marry as discrimination, and that shouldn’t be tolerated anymore.



Some of the arguments claim that marriage is about religion, that it’s a union in the eyes of God. Others claim it’s about the rights of children and traditional values. However, all these arguments are made by people who can marry. They will never know how it feels to be told that you are unable to declare your love in the eyes of the law; that what you have, that the feelings that you share don’t matter.
I’m told that I can’t marry because of my sexuality. Had this been about my skin colour, my religious beliefs, my physical or mental health or even my class there would be absolutely no issue about marriage and my choice to marry in the eyes of the government. In fact, it would be seen as a major violation of my basic human rights. Yet I’m expected to roll over and accept this because I’m gay. Well I say NO.
This isn’t even a gay rights issue. It’s a human rights issue. I’m Irish, I’m young, I’m outgoing and I’m gay. I’m human and regardless of what my traits are I’m entitled to be treated as such. I deserve love, I deserve happiness, I deserve marriage and I deserve to be equal.



I still have trouble understanding why some people have a problem with the idea of gay marriage. And this small number of people are keeping Ireland behind the rest of the world. What are they so afraid of?! We don’t care about getting married in a church; religion is not the argument here. So what is the problem?
Love is blind and doesn’t see religion, race or gender. So why does marriage?


I do not know if I am gay. I feel like I’m being forced to define myself and become limited by my sexuality. The fact that I love to be with people regardless of their gender suggests that I do not wish to be labeled as someone who will only share the rest of my life with someone of the opposite gender if I wish to commit.
It really hurts, that if I chose to become a father with another man and were to raise a child that I’d give my upmost love and care to, we wouldn’t have the same rights as that of a straight married couple. I would never want for my child to come from a dysfunctional family and not reach their true potential. It is completely irrelevant what gender parents are. They must be compassionate, devoted, supportive, intelligent individuals who love each other, and want to share their love with a beautiful individual, their child.
I don’t want to be scared of having a loving moment with my partner and child in everyday situations; playing in the playground, in the park, at the beach, at school, places we would see our child grow and fulfil themselves, like any other married couple would.
There is no threat to allowing two people to pledge their love in front of all their family and friends, in a wonderful moment. If we are all made equal then what kind of equality is this? A civil partnership is a cold contract between two citizens, and you cannot define love this way. Marriage is far more than that and when you truly love someone, would you want anything less?


The Government and church maintain that children brought up in a “conventional family” i.e.; a mother and father will turn out normal. Who’s to say this is true. In my opinion children raised by homosexual couples have a more rounded view of the world. Murderers and rapists have the right to marry and in the words of Michael Jackson “what about us”. We are not second-class citizens.



I feel as if I don’t exist in the eyes of the government that is supposed to be supporting, and representing me as a citizen. Giving us civil partnership is teasing us the same way you’d tease a dog with food. You wouldn’t do it to the dog, why do it to us?
When I attended my cousins wedding last year, I was delighted for her. It felt great to be part of one of the biggest and most joyous moments of her life. The ceremony was beautiful. Her dress was gorgeous. I can vividly remember the smile on her face and those around her. I had tears in my eyes because it was beautiful but they were also tears of sadness. This is a moment of life I can’t celebrate. I had to leave early, I felt depressed and hurt. As it stands, I will never get to have that moment with my family and friends, to show them how much I love my boyfriend. The fact that I’m denied this is immoral. I’m not asking to change any religion; I’m asking to get civilly married. I don’t want the church, I want the man I love, and to have security in that relationship. It’s not much to ask for.




Choice is an essential human freedom. When someone is denied this freedom, it proclaims to the world that they are somehow less than human. We take a stand for choice, equality and freedom. Why should we be expected to live quietly, in a repressive state? We have never in the past stood for this. We fought for our freedom. We were born believing in this concept. This group will not allow injustice to pass. We will fight for our freedom.




These are strong words Mr Ahern, very strong words from a generation of young people who still face bullying and harassment because your government refuses to do anything to make us equal citizens. Through this refusal, you are allowing this harassment to take place and you fuel it, because we are not equal in the eyes of the law. We were expected to receive Civil Partnership with open arms, when in fact the Bill is just crumbs from the master’s table.

I hope this letter can help you understand why we, as members of the LGBT community feel so cheated by this Bill. You are enshrining in law that we are merely second-class in your eyes.

And we will not allow this to go quietly. We will rock the boat and continue to fight this fight until you listen.


Nothing is impossible.


Yours Sincerely,

Gillian McInerney – representing the members of BeLonG To Youth Services