Day 13 – Your favorite LGBT role model/celebrity

I must have started this post 10 times over the past few days. So I'm looking at it from a new perspective tonight.

My LGBT role models change quite regularly, like most things with me! There are a few that have remained constant however. As a collective I have huge respect and admiration for BeLonG To Youth Services. Partly because of the high standards of youth work they maintain no matter what is thrown their way, partly because they have created such a strong name and image for themselves within the LGBT community. When I qualify (ie. when I grow up) I want to work with an organization like them.

On a broader scale I admire the It Gets Better Project founder Dan Savage and all the people who have contributed to the project. Such is my admiration and belief in the project I had this tattooed recently:

Day 12 – Your favorite LGBT movie (or one you’d like to see)

I have two and they were both shown to me on the same day! The first is Boy's Don't Cry.





It's the harrowing true story of Brandon Teena, a trans man in America in the late 80's and early 90's.


My second is RENT




I got so upset watching Boys Don't Cry (I was quite hysterical, it took a half hour to calm me down) that RENT was put on, to cheer me up. It definitely worked, and there were tears throughout, once you break the seal thats it! It is my most watched LGBT film.

Day 11 – Your favorite LGBT book (or one you’d like to read)

Without a shadow of a doubt this is the best LGBT book I have ever started and mean to finish.

Day 10 – What does marriage mean to you?

I'm in two minds about marriage, my romantic side and my practical side.

Practically marriage is about security. It's a step you take, when combining your life with somebody you love, to protect your assets should anything ever happen to the other person or to you. It's a step you take to protect the children you have together. It's a piece of paper that affords you some nice tax breaks and a good status in society. And as much as people say that these things don't matter it is only to a very few. The majority of people do think about these things and want them, secretly or not.

Romantically I think marriage is about promising another person that you're gonna try your damnedest to make your relationship work, in good times and bad times, because you love them. It's a commitment to the life you've both planned and created together.

No matter how marriage is defined or what it means to people I think it is completely ridiculous to claim that LGBT people fighting for the right to marry is destroying it's sanctity. If anything is destroying the sanctity of marriage it's divorce! I hope that someday I will have somebody that I want to marry, and when that time comes that I will have the right to marry her. I will continue to fight for my future happiness, and the security of my future family. I'm only human after all.

Day 9 – What do you think about LGBT Pride? Is it helpful or hurtful? Encouraged or unnecessary?

My views sway about Pride but not about the celebration itself, about the sheer amount of alcohol that the event seems to center around, or ends up centering around despite what the Pride committee do.

LGBT Pride is an important event, one that encourages the community to get out and celebrate being themselves. The day that LGBT people don't receive any form of harassment for their sexuality is the day that Pride will start to become unnecessary for me. But until that day I believe we should be out there, every summer, to keep showing the world who we are.

Day 8 – What do you think the closet or being closeted means to you?

clos·et
n.
1. A cabinet or enclosed recess for linens, household supplies, or clothing.
2. A small private chamber, as for study or prayer.
3. A water closet; a toilet.
4. A state of secrecy or cautious privacy: Two days before the election, the candidate suddenly came out of the closet and denounced the proposed law.

To enclose or shut up in a private room, as for discussion: closeted themselves with their attorneys.

adj.
1. Private; confidential: closet information.
2. Being so or engaging only in private; secret: a closet proponent of a tax increase; a closet alcoholic.
3. Based on theory and speculation rather than practice.

Thats the dictionary definition of the closet. For me, being in the closet is a lifetime thing. I'm always half in, half out, judging each situation, making sure that it is safe for me to come out and show all of me. Sexuality is a small part of who we are but also such a big part, and it will continue to be a big part for as long as LGBT people face prejudice for just being themselves.

Being closeted has a different meaning for me, it means being forced to stay in the closet, either from fear within yourself (but this fear has to come from somewhere external, we're not born afraid), or from an openly negative environment.

Day 7 – How your parents took it or how you think they might take it

I'm out two and a half years to my parents. It's been a long journey. When I first came out in July 2008 they had no idea what was coming. I sat them down during the break of Emmerdale and just told them outright. My Mum denies this now but her jaw hit the floor and she didn't speak for a good five minutes. Dad went into overdrive, asking me loads of questions, how long I'd know etc. It took them both a long time to even mention it to me again. I was on gay overdrive, so thrilled to be out of the closet and discovering my new community. I must have been tough to love with, especially as it was all so new to them. But gradually they came round to the idea. Mum first. I knew they were okay with it when they started joking, my Mum in particular asking if women were just as bad as men!

They've met a few of my partners over the past 30 months, liked and disliked, but treated them all with the same respect they treated any boy my sister or I ever brought home. They've stood up for me against ignorant family members and adore my girlfriend.