Kudos to Deanna from TMatesFTM for this quote:
Basically, a radio host called Yukon Jack from 100.3 The Bear said it best. "OK, Johnny Hetero, roll with me on this one. You wake up tomorrow morning and all of a sudden you're a woman. Everything about you mentally, emotionally is male. You like to fight, spit, swear, drive truck, crush beers and belch. You are a man, man. But physically you are a woman. Well, after a week of playing with your boobs, it would be terrible. Your life would be ruined. There would be no getting used to it. You would suffer depression, anxiety and stress about everything you ever do, and would have difficulty keeping a job. This isn't cosmetic. A nose job, boob job, lipo, botox or collagen. This isn't something they've done to themselves, like lung-cancer-smoker guy, or severe-head-wound-quad-riding guy, liver-disease-alcoholic guy, or tanning-salon-skin-cancer girl."
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
[gender game]
co-written by amy neevel
©2001 Alix Olson.
You wanna give me a shiner
Cause I look like this
And I got a vagina?
See, I’m familiar with this Gender Game,
I’ve played this war many times before
On this playground called my identity
When puberty hit like dodge balls
And freeze-tagged as sissy-fagged
My best friend dissed me- common interests,
Different anatomy.
See, vagina meant quieter, caretaker, peacemaker.
Vagina meant keeping lips closed, keeping bodies posed.
Vagina was silent dolls and no action toys,
Vagina was punches when I played with the boys.
So I learned to take it in the stomach, I learned to Fight to make friends.
And as I learned to make that bullshit end,
Vagina became a slippery slide for my little finger
Vagina became a quiver that lingered,
Vagina became what I looked for, worked for, stood for,
I "Viva La Vagina’d all over the place!"
I revitalized Vagina’s grace, I discovered vagina’s taste.
I became a fine diner. Put my face in vagina after vagina.
And then I was faced with some other lipservice
Putting me in my place
That Vagina should not be liberator.
But dictator.
Of the shoes we wear. The hair we crop.
The palms we clasp. The way we walk.
The space we use. The threads we choose.
Well, I refuse to follow suit.
Cause I gotta confess, my straight jacket is a dress.
You know it used to be a crime
To wear clothes that didn’t scream
"Vagin-A!"
I wear these shoes so I can move with my own easy spirit.
I don’t shave my legs cause
It gets cold. Besides, my legs rebel
Against the bloody hell of
Shaved and sliced
And since when is my body hair something to judge?
Is furry a male privilege-
Or a patriarchal plot by gillette?
I don’t cut my nails cause I’ve got hammering to do.
I’m pounding out my path as I cruise this gender landscape,
As I peruse the choice between silence and
Violence.
Matthew Shepard was bent, so you hang him to a fence,
Brandon Teena was murdered as a liar for hiding his
Vagina. And I can’t even sit
In a restaurant without causing a stir:
"Whaddya have sir? Whaddya have sir? Whaddya have sir?"
I have a Vagina!
Yes, I’ve got a vagina and you can still call me sir,
Cause I can’t cure
This visual disease of yours.
But I don’t give a damn about "Sir" or "Ma’am".
So, in the "F" or "M" boxes they give,
I forgive myself for not fitting in
And blame the world for lack of clarity.
I deliberate.
Penis? I got one y’know. I write down "d" for dildo,
I write down "D" for
"Don’t know," I fill in "F" for
fi-fie-foe male!
Yes, I’m a giant Vagina!
And I am too big for these boxes they give,
Too real for this Gender Toyland
Built over soiled contradictions
With Barbie bricks and Ken cornerstones
Built over the skulls and bones of our Transgendered Ancestors.
Danger:
She-men working above. And beyond. You.
Yes, we are Deconstruction Workers.
We are exposing unfounded bedrocks
That bed us to one sex, that wed us to one gender.
We are overturning those stones,
We are throwing them back.
We are making revolution
A gender evolution.
We are invoking strategy, we are revoking shame.
And we are calling it. We are calling it
Refusal to be Named.
Friday, August 7, 2009
feminism in 2009
I've just read an article about modern feminism and if young women would consider themselves feminists. I personally would consider myself a feminist, but not one of those "grr i hate men and I'll burn my bra" feminists (perhaps because i need my bra, perhaps because men are delightfully drama free).
This got me thinking about the behavior of young women, the way we dress, the way we act, our priorities and goals. I'm going to quote someone who's a well known lesbian icon, despite being married to a man. Singer P!nk, in her song 'Stupid Girls', says: "What happened to the dreams of a girl president/ She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent". P!nk presents a loaded statement here (nothing out of the ordinary there). Politics is one of the many institutions in first world countries countries across the globe that is still mainly male dominated. Women are looked down upon as candidates because we are still seen as incapable of having a family and a successful career.
This got me thinking about the behavior of young women, the way we dress, the way we act, our priorities and goals. I'm going to quote someone who's a well known lesbian icon, despite being married to a man. Singer P!nk, in her song 'Stupid Girls', says: "What happened to the dreams of a girl president/ She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent". P!nk presents a loaded statement here (nothing out of the ordinary there). Politics is one of the many institutions in first world countries countries across the globe that is still mainly male dominated. Women are looked down upon as candidates because we are still seen as incapable of having a family and a successful career.
I want a career. I have plans to be a youth worker, and to hopefully one day manage my own youth project. I also want to be a mother and a wife, to have a home I can be proud of as well as a meaningful career. I am lucky really because the field I want to get into is very accepting of working mothers and of difference as a whole. But I also in my lifetime want to see more women in the Dail, a female Taioseach (Prime Minister), women as CEO's of powerful companies. It's not because I feel men are doing a bad job, not all of them are. But I want to see a world where women can shine. Where our health system allows us to manage working and children. Where more men experience the joys (and hard work!) of sustaining a household and raising children. Maybe if there is more role reversal the jobs that women do now will be appreciated to their full value.
Because I still believe that behind every successful man there are a team including brilliant women.
Letter to Dermot Ahern
Dear Mr Ahern,
I am writing to you on behalf of the members of the BeLonG To Youth Services. BeLonG To is a group for LGBT young people aged 14-23. It creates a safe space; free from many of the prejudices and discrimination faced by a lot of young people who are, or are perceived to be, LGBT.
We are a vastly varied group of people, each with our own talents, views and lives. But we all agree on one thing. You are not doing enough for us.
A month ago we ran a workshop in our main Sunday group. Our aim was to discuss the Civil Partnership Bill and our feelings about it. The following are quotes and stories taken from that workshop:
It is a disgrace that this country does not allow LGBT people to get married. On all accounts, this is a violation of human rights and dignity, and is unfair to the LGBT community of Ireland. We are all human and should be given the right to marry. Imagine if you were told you couldn’t marry your partner? How unhappy would you be? I am tired of being treated like a second-class citizen because of my sexuality and I know a lot of other people in the LGBT community feel the same I see being denied the human right to marry as discrimination, and that shouldn’t be tolerated anymore.
Some of the arguments claim that marriage is about religion, that it’s a union in the eyes of God. Others claim it’s about the rights of children and traditional values. However, all these arguments are made by people who can marry. They will never know how it feels to be told that you are unable to declare your love in the eyes of the law; that what you have, that the feelings that you share don’t matter.
I’m told that I can’t marry because of my sexuality. Had this been about my skin colour, my religious beliefs, my physical or mental health or even my class there would be absolutely no issue about marriage and my choice to marry in the eyes of the government. In fact, it would be seen as a major violation of my basic human rights. Yet I’m expected to roll over and accept this because I’m gay. Well I say NO.
This isn’t even a gay rights issue. It’s a human rights issue. I’m Irish, I’m young, I’m outgoing and I’m gay. I’m human and regardless of what my traits are I’m entitled to be treated as such. I deserve love, I deserve happiness, I deserve marriage and I deserve to be equal.
I still have trouble understanding why some people have a problem with the idea of gay marriage. And this small number of people are keeping Ireland behind the rest of the world. What are they so afraid of?! We don’t care about getting married in a church; religion is not the argument here. So what is the problem?
Love is blind and doesn’t see religion, race or gender. So why does marriage?
I do not know if I am gay. I feel like I’m being forced to define myself and become limited by my sexuality. The fact that I love to be with people regardless of their gender suggests that I do not wish to be labeled as someone who will only share the rest of my life with someone of the opposite gender if I wish to commit.
It really hurts, that if I chose to become a father with another man and were to raise a child that I’d give my upmost love and care to, we wouldn’t have the same rights as that of a straight married couple. I would never want for my child to come from a dysfunctional family and not reach their true potential. It is completely irrelevant what gender parents are. They must be compassionate, devoted, supportive, intelligent individuals who love each other, and want to share their love with a beautiful individual, their child.
I don’t want to be scared of having a loving moment with my partner and child in everyday situations; playing in the playground, in the park, at the beach, at school, places we would see our child grow and fulfil themselves, like any other married couple would.
There is no threat to allowing two people to pledge their love in front of all their family and friends, in a wonderful moment. If we are all made equal then what kind of equality is this? A civil partnership is a cold contract between two citizens, and you cannot define love this way. Marriage is far more than that and when you truly love someone, would you want anything less?
The Government and church maintain that children brought up in a “conventional family” i.e.; a mother and father will turn out normal. Who’s to say this is true. In my opinion children raised by homosexual couples have a more rounded view of the world. Murderers and rapists have the right to marry and in the words of Michael Jackson “what about us”. We are not second-class citizens.
I feel as if I don’t exist in the eyes of the government that is supposed to be supporting, and representing me as a citizen. Giving us civil partnership is teasing us the same way you’d tease a dog with food. You wouldn’t do it to the dog, why do it to us?
When I attended my cousins wedding last year, I was delighted for her. It felt great to be part of one of the biggest and most joyous moments of her life. The ceremony was beautiful. Her dress was gorgeous. I can vividly remember the smile on her face and those around her. I had tears in my eyes because it was beautiful but they were also tears of sadness. This is a moment of life I can’t celebrate. I had to leave early, I felt depressed and hurt. As it stands, I will never get to have that moment with my family and friends, to show them how much I love my boyfriend. The fact that I’m denied this is immoral. I’m not asking to change any religion; I’m asking to get civilly married. I don’t want the church, I want the man I love, and to have security in that relationship. It’s not much to ask for.
Choice is an essential human freedom. When someone is denied this freedom, it proclaims to the world that they are somehow less than human. We take a stand for choice, equality and freedom. Why should we be expected to live quietly, in a repressive state? We have never in the past stood for this. We fought for our freedom. We were born believing in this concept. This group will not allow injustice to pass. We will fight for our freedom.
These are strong words Mr Ahern, very strong words from a generation of young people who still face bullying and harassment because your government refuses to do anything to make us equal citizens. Through this refusal, you are allowing this harassment to take place and you fuel it, because we are not equal in the eyes of the law. We were expected to receive Civil Partnership with open arms, when in fact the Bill is just crumbs from the master’s table.
I hope this letter can help you understand why we, as members of the LGBT community feel so cheated by this Bill. You are enshrining in law that we are merely second-class in your eyes.
And we will not allow this to go quietly. We will rock the boat and continue to fight this fight until you listen.
Nothing is impossible.
Yours Sincerely,
Gillian McInerney – representing the members of BeLonG To Youth Services
I am writing to you on behalf of the members of the BeLonG To Youth Services. BeLonG To is a group for LGBT young people aged 14-23. It creates a safe space; free from many of the prejudices and discrimination faced by a lot of young people who are, or are perceived to be, LGBT.
We are a vastly varied group of people, each with our own talents, views and lives. But we all agree on one thing. You are not doing enough for us.
A month ago we ran a workshop in our main Sunday group. Our aim was to discuss the Civil Partnership Bill and our feelings about it. The following are quotes and stories taken from that workshop:
It is a disgrace that this country does not allow LGBT people to get married. On all accounts, this is a violation of human rights and dignity, and is unfair to the LGBT community of Ireland. We are all human and should be given the right to marry. Imagine if you were told you couldn’t marry your partner? How unhappy would you be? I am tired of being treated like a second-class citizen because of my sexuality and I know a lot of other people in the LGBT community feel the same I see being denied the human right to marry as discrimination, and that shouldn’t be tolerated anymore.
Some of the arguments claim that marriage is about religion, that it’s a union in the eyes of God. Others claim it’s about the rights of children and traditional values. However, all these arguments are made by people who can marry. They will never know how it feels to be told that you are unable to declare your love in the eyes of the law; that what you have, that the feelings that you share don’t matter.
I’m told that I can’t marry because of my sexuality. Had this been about my skin colour, my religious beliefs, my physical or mental health or even my class there would be absolutely no issue about marriage and my choice to marry in the eyes of the government. In fact, it would be seen as a major violation of my basic human rights. Yet I’m expected to roll over and accept this because I’m gay. Well I say NO.
This isn’t even a gay rights issue. It’s a human rights issue. I’m Irish, I’m young, I’m outgoing and I’m gay. I’m human and regardless of what my traits are I’m entitled to be treated as such. I deserve love, I deserve happiness, I deserve marriage and I deserve to be equal.
I still have trouble understanding why some people have a problem with the idea of gay marriage. And this small number of people are keeping Ireland behind the rest of the world. What are they so afraid of?! We don’t care about getting married in a church; religion is not the argument here. So what is the problem?
Love is blind and doesn’t see religion, race or gender. So why does marriage?
I do not know if I am gay. I feel like I’m being forced to define myself and become limited by my sexuality. The fact that I love to be with people regardless of their gender suggests that I do not wish to be labeled as someone who will only share the rest of my life with someone of the opposite gender if I wish to commit.
It really hurts, that if I chose to become a father with another man and were to raise a child that I’d give my upmost love and care to, we wouldn’t have the same rights as that of a straight married couple. I would never want for my child to come from a dysfunctional family and not reach their true potential. It is completely irrelevant what gender parents are. They must be compassionate, devoted, supportive, intelligent individuals who love each other, and want to share their love with a beautiful individual, their child.
I don’t want to be scared of having a loving moment with my partner and child in everyday situations; playing in the playground, in the park, at the beach, at school, places we would see our child grow and fulfil themselves, like any other married couple would.
There is no threat to allowing two people to pledge their love in front of all their family and friends, in a wonderful moment. If we are all made equal then what kind of equality is this? A civil partnership is a cold contract between two citizens, and you cannot define love this way. Marriage is far more than that and when you truly love someone, would you want anything less?
The Government and church maintain that children brought up in a “conventional family” i.e.; a mother and father will turn out normal. Who’s to say this is true. In my opinion children raised by homosexual couples have a more rounded view of the world. Murderers and rapists have the right to marry and in the words of Michael Jackson “what about us”. We are not second-class citizens.
I feel as if I don’t exist in the eyes of the government that is supposed to be supporting, and representing me as a citizen. Giving us civil partnership is teasing us the same way you’d tease a dog with food. You wouldn’t do it to the dog, why do it to us?
When I attended my cousins wedding last year, I was delighted for her. It felt great to be part of one of the biggest and most joyous moments of her life. The ceremony was beautiful. Her dress was gorgeous. I can vividly remember the smile on her face and those around her. I had tears in my eyes because it was beautiful but they were also tears of sadness. This is a moment of life I can’t celebrate. I had to leave early, I felt depressed and hurt. As it stands, I will never get to have that moment with my family and friends, to show them how much I love my boyfriend. The fact that I’m denied this is immoral. I’m not asking to change any religion; I’m asking to get civilly married. I don’t want the church, I want the man I love, and to have security in that relationship. It’s not much to ask for.
Choice is an essential human freedom. When someone is denied this freedom, it proclaims to the world that they are somehow less than human. We take a stand for choice, equality and freedom. Why should we be expected to live quietly, in a repressive state? We have never in the past stood for this. We fought for our freedom. We were born believing in this concept. This group will not allow injustice to pass. We will fight for our freedom.
These are strong words Mr Ahern, very strong words from a generation of young people who still face bullying and harassment because your government refuses to do anything to make us equal citizens. Through this refusal, you are allowing this harassment to take place and you fuel it, because we are not equal in the eyes of the law. We were expected to receive Civil Partnership with open arms, when in fact the Bill is just crumbs from the master’s table.
I hope this letter can help you understand why we, as members of the LGBT community feel so cheated by this Bill. You are enshrining in law that we are merely second-class in your eyes.
And we will not allow this to go quietly. We will rock the boat and continue to fight this fight until you listen.
Nothing is impossible.
Yours Sincerely,
Gillian McInerney – representing the members of BeLonG To Youth Services
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Guck and a Doat
I've decided. I'm going to live on a farm when I'm older. I'll have ducks and chickens and a sheep called Betty. I'm hesitant about cow's, scary buggers! A Shetland Pony would be deadly too.
Of course this is alongside the cats, dogs and children. I've always wanted kids. When I was 5 I turned to my family and announced that when I grew up I was going to have loads of kids but I wasn't going to get married. My Mum now says she should have known I was gay then.
I've been thinking about families since the Civil Partnership Bill has gone to The Dail. I'm finally pursuing a career I really want, but it's not overly well paid. This didn't bother me until I realised I'll need to be earning a certain amount to adopt as a single parent. I haven't looked up the regulations but I'm sure they're very very strict.
This, along with many others, is one of the reasons I'm fighting for marriage equality. I want equal treatment for my kids, I want to have the family I always dreamed of. As a kid I never dreamed of the white dress and the big party. I dreamed of the babies and children. The house with a massive garden, full of screaming happy children and animals. The birthday parties, communions, confirmations, school tests and pictures on the fridge. Going to see a very proud Nana and having their aunty over.
I know I can't do this alone, but more importantly I don't want to. I want to have someone to share these moments with, someone else who'll laugh at me for crying when I'm proud, who'll remember the silly things I'm known for forgetting. Someone to argue with me about the colour of the living room and hold me back from strangling mean teachers. Someone to tell me that rabbits with 4 cats isn't my best idea.
I want it all. Is it that much to ask for?
Of course this is alongside the cats, dogs and children. I've always wanted kids. When I was 5 I turned to my family and announced that when I grew up I was going to have loads of kids but I wasn't going to get married. My Mum now says she should have known I was gay then.
I've been thinking about families since the Civil Partnership Bill has gone to The Dail. I'm finally pursuing a career I really want, but it's not overly well paid. This didn't bother me until I realised I'll need to be earning a certain amount to adopt as a single parent. I haven't looked up the regulations but I'm sure they're very very strict.
This, along with many others, is one of the reasons I'm fighting for marriage equality. I want equal treatment for my kids, I want to have the family I always dreamed of. As a kid I never dreamed of the white dress and the big party. I dreamed of the babies and children. The house with a massive garden, full of screaming happy children and animals. The birthday parties, communions, confirmations, school tests and pictures on the fridge. Going to see a very proud Nana and having their aunty over.
I know I can't do this alone, but more importantly I don't want to. I want to have someone to share these moments with, someone else who'll laugh at me for crying when I'm proud, who'll remember the silly things I'm known for forgetting. Someone to argue with me about the colour of the living room and hold me back from strangling mean teachers. Someone to tell me that rabbits with 4 cats isn't my best idea.
I want it all. Is it that much to ask for?
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
If
Rudyard Kipling
If
If
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
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