Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Day 19 – Butch or Femme?
I'm quite femme, dresses on special occasions, make up, skinny jeans and high heeled boots and the like. I tend to be more attracted to butches however, short hair, androgynous dress sense, cheeky smile. *swoons*
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Day 18 – Something about the LGBTQ community you don’t understand or have a question about
The bitching and in fighting. Seriously lads, we have enough on our plates to be dealing with!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Day 17 – Your first experience with an LGBT organization or event (Day of Silence, Pride, etc)
My very first encounter with the LGBT community was seeing the entire Pride parade of 2007 go past my bus as we sat in traffic. I loved it, the colours, the atmosphere, the passion that you could so obviously see exuding from these bright happy people.
My first 'face to face' encounter with the LGBT community was over a year later, when I'd figured out I was anything but heterosexual and had picked apart my cost little straight life to take a look at why I was so deeply unhappy. It was post Pride 2008, and I had found the youth group BeLonG To while website hoping (like channel hoping only online). I was utterly terrified to go to their Sunday group. I had waited till my family was out of town so I didn't need to put my pathetic lying skills under undue pressure. I shook the entire bus ride to town and the whole walk to the community center was rushed, my head watching my feet and navigating a part of town I wasn't all that familiar with. Four or five hours later after a flurry of names and faces, hugs and so much information I was totally convinced that I was going back the next week. Right after I came out to my parents. I don't do things by halves ;)
My first 'face to face' encounter with the LGBT community was over a year later, when I'd figured out I was anything but heterosexual and had picked apart my cost little straight life to take a look at why I was so deeply unhappy. It was post Pride 2008, and I had found the youth group BeLonG To while website hoping (like channel hoping only online). I was utterly terrified to go to their Sunday group. I had waited till my family was out of town so I didn't need to put my pathetic lying skills under undue pressure. I shook the entire bus ride to town and the whole walk to the community center was rushed, my head watching my feet and navigating a part of town I wasn't all that familiar with. Four or five hours later after a flurry of names and faces, hugs and so much information I was totally convinced that I was going back the next week. Right after I came out to my parents. I don't do things by halves ;)
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Day 16 – A picture from your first LGBT relationship or of your first LGBT crush
She probably wasn't my first LGBT crush but she's definitely the one I remember most vividly:
Specifically in this movie:
Yum ^_^
Specifically in this movie:
Yum ^_^
Friday, December 3, 2010
Day 15 – Your favorite LGBT quote
"Somewhere in Des Moines or San Antonio there is a young gay person who all the sudden realizes that he or she is gay; knows that if their parents find out they will be tossed out of the house, their classmates will taunt the child, and the Anita Bryant's and John Briggs' are doing their part on TV. And that child has several options: staying in the closet, and suicide. And then one day that child might open the paper that says "Homosexual elected in San Francisco" and there are two new options: the option is to go to California, or stay in San Antonio and fight. Two days after I was elected I got a phone call and the voice was quite young. It was from Altoona, Pennsylvania. And the person said "Thanks". And you've got to elect gay people, so that thousand upon thousands like that child know that there is hope for a better world; there is hope for a better tomorrow. Without hope, not only gays, but those who are blacks, the Asians, the disabled, the seniors, the us's: without hope the us's give up. I know that you can't live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. And you, and you, and you, and you have got to give them hope." - Harvey Milk, 1978
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Day 14 – Your favorite LGBT song or artist
Although she's not LGBT I absolutely adore this woman:
Her songs are mostly gender ambiguous and she always gives a shout-out to her LGBT fans at concerts. Plus she's friggin hot!
Her songs are mostly gender ambiguous and she always gives a shout-out to her LGBT fans at concerts. Plus she's friggin hot!
How To Survive a Lesbian Relationship Break-Up
Whether you have left your partner, or she has left you, surviving a lesbian break-up is hard. Sometimes it may feel like you may never recover from the break-up. But you will. These tips might make recovering from a break-up easier.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: Can Take a Year or More
Here's How:
Recognize what has happened.
The first thing you might be feeling is, "I can't believe this is happening!" Shock and denial are normal in the early stages of recovery from a break-up. You keep thinking you'll wake up from the bad dream or that your lover will return. This is the first step in the grieving process. Once you begin to believe that it's really over, you're ready to move on to the next step of healing from a break-up.
Next you might feel anger toward your partner.
Good, this is the second step of grieving. At this time, it is a good idea to get away from your partner. If you live together, move out or go stay with some friends. Too many lesbian couples continue to live together after they break up. If you can't afford to move out, go stay with a friend for a while. You need to separate to get a clear head. Don't drive by her house or ask friends about her new girlfriend, you'll only torture yourself.
Get support.
Call on your friends. Your friends, not your mutual friends. At this time you need someone who is going to take your side. You don't need a reasonable voice at this time. You need a friend who will nod in agreement at every horrible thing your ex has done. She'll tell you how wonderful you are and how much better off you are without her. There's plenty of time to be reasonable in the future. Right now you need to vent.
Mourn, but don't wallow.
Feeling sad is normal. Yes, it's okay to cry, scream and feel pity for yourself. But don't allow the situation to turn you into a bitter human being. Give yourself up to a year to grieve. If after that time you're still welling up with tears at the thought of her, it's time to see a therapist. Something else is probably going on to cause your sadness.
Get Closure.
Say the things to her that you need to and leave it at that. If she won't see you face to face, send her a letter. Beware of e-mail, where you can write something regrettable and impulsively hit send. If you choose to communicate by e-mail, be sure to wait 24 hours before sending off your letter.
No Rebounds.
It sure can be tempting to enter into a new relationship to help you forget the old one. But if you don't give yourself time to heal and reflect on what happened with the last one, you're bound to repeat the same patterns.
Let it all out.
Get your feelings out in healthy ways. Write them down, make a painting, write a fantastic break-up song, listen to great break-up songs, go for a run. Let it out in what ever way feels best to you. Avoid turning to drugs or alcohol. They will only make the situation worse.
Look at yourself.
What went wrong with the relationship to cause it to end? Every relationship is a two-person dynamic. Try to identify what part she played and what part you played. If you take ownership of your role, you'll be less likely to repeat the same mistakes in your next relationship. Beware playing the blame game. Getting angry at yourself for your mistakes will not help. You just want to recognize what you did so the next time you're aware of your dynamic.
"That which does not destroy us will make us stronger."
Remember this. This is a hard time and you WILL get through it. Look at this as an opportunity for growth and to test your strength as a human being. When it feels like too much, be sure to call on those support systems.
"Let go and let God."
You can't control what another person does, but you can control how you react. Pray, meditate, read inspirational stories, whatever will get you through. Remember others have been through this and came out on the other side and you will too. Breathe in and out. It will get better.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: Can Take a Year or More
Here's How:
Recognize what has happened.
The first thing you might be feeling is, "I can't believe this is happening!" Shock and denial are normal in the early stages of recovery from a break-up. You keep thinking you'll wake up from the bad dream or that your lover will return. This is the first step in the grieving process. Once you begin to believe that it's really over, you're ready to move on to the next step of healing from a break-up.
Next you might feel anger toward your partner.
Good, this is the second step of grieving. At this time, it is a good idea to get away from your partner. If you live together, move out or go stay with some friends. Too many lesbian couples continue to live together after they break up. If you can't afford to move out, go stay with a friend for a while. You need to separate to get a clear head. Don't drive by her house or ask friends about her new girlfriend, you'll only torture yourself.
Get support.
Call on your friends. Your friends, not your mutual friends. At this time you need someone who is going to take your side. You don't need a reasonable voice at this time. You need a friend who will nod in agreement at every horrible thing your ex has done. She'll tell you how wonderful you are and how much better off you are without her. There's plenty of time to be reasonable in the future. Right now you need to vent.
Mourn, but don't wallow.
Feeling sad is normal. Yes, it's okay to cry, scream and feel pity for yourself. But don't allow the situation to turn you into a bitter human being. Give yourself up to a year to grieve. If after that time you're still welling up with tears at the thought of her, it's time to see a therapist. Something else is probably going on to cause your sadness.
Get Closure.
Say the things to her that you need to and leave it at that. If she won't see you face to face, send her a letter. Beware of e-mail, where you can write something regrettable and impulsively hit send. If you choose to communicate by e-mail, be sure to wait 24 hours before sending off your letter.
No Rebounds.
It sure can be tempting to enter into a new relationship to help you forget the old one. But if you don't give yourself time to heal and reflect on what happened with the last one, you're bound to repeat the same patterns.
Let it all out.
Get your feelings out in healthy ways. Write them down, make a painting, write a fantastic break-up song, listen to great break-up songs, go for a run. Let it out in what ever way feels best to you. Avoid turning to drugs or alcohol. They will only make the situation worse.
Look at yourself.
What went wrong with the relationship to cause it to end? Every relationship is a two-person dynamic. Try to identify what part she played and what part you played. If you take ownership of your role, you'll be less likely to repeat the same mistakes in your next relationship. Beware playing the blame game. Getting angry at yourself for your mistakes will not help. You just want to recognize what you did so the next time you're aware of your dynamic.
"That which does not destroy us will make us stronger."
Remember this. This is a hard time and you WILL get through it. Look at this as an opportunity for growth and to test your strength as a human being. When it feels like too much, be sure to call on those support systems.
"Let go and let God."
You can't control what another person does, but you can control how you react. Pray, meditate, read inspirational stories, whatever will get you through. Remember others have been through this and came out on the other side and you will too. Breathe in and out. It will get better.
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