Day 11 – Your favorite LGBT book (or one you’d like to read)

Without a shadow of a doubt this is the best LGBT book I have ever started and mean to finish.

Day 10 – What does marriage mean to you?

I'm in two minds about marriage, my romantic side and my practical side.

Practically marriage is about security. It's a step you take, when combining your life with somebody you love, to protect your assets should anything ever happen to the other person or to you. It's a step you take to protect the children you have together. It's a piece of paper that affords you some nice tax breaks and a good status in society. And as much as people say that these things don't matter it is only to a very few. The majority of people do think about these things and want them, secretly or not.

Romantically I think marriage is about promising another person that you're gonna try your damnedest to make your relationship work, in good times and bad times, because you love them. It's a commitment to the life you've both planned and created together.

No matter how marriage is defined or what it means to people I think it is completely ridiculous to claim that LGBT people fighting for the right to marry is destroying it's sanctity. If anything is destroying the sanctity of marriage it's divorce! I hope that someday I will have somebody that I want to marry, and when that time comes that I will have the right to marry her. I will continue to fight for my future happiness, and the security of my future family. I'm only human after all.

Day 9 – What do you think about LGBT Pride? Is it helpful or hurtful? Encouraged or unnecessary?

My views sway about Pride but not about the celebration itself, about the sheer amount of alcohol that the event seems to center around, or ends up centering around despite what the Pride committee do.

LGBT Pride is an important event, one that encourages the community to get out and celebrate being themselves. The day that LGBT people don't receive any form of harassment for their sexuality is the day that Pride will start to become unnecessary for me. But until that day I believe we should be out there, every summer, to keep showing the world who we are.

Day 8 – What do you think the closet or being closeted means to you?

clos·et
n.
1. A cabinet or enclosed recess for linens, household supplies, or clothing.
2. A small private chamber, as for study or prayer.
3. A water closet; a toilet.
4. A state of secrecy or cautious privacy: Two days before the election, the candidate suddenly came out of the closet and denounced the proposed law.

To enclose or shut up in a private room, as for discussion: closeted themselves with their attorneys.

adj.
1. Private; confidential: closet information.
2. Being so or engaging only in private; secret: a closet proponent of a tax increase; a closet alcoholic.
3. Based on theory and speculation rather than practice.

Thats the dictionary definition of the closet. For me, being in the closet is a lifetime thing. I'm always half in, half out, judging each situation, making sure that it is safe for me to come out and show all of me. Sexuality is a small part of who we are but also such a big part, and it will continue to be a big part for as long as LGBT people face prejudice for just being themselves.

Being closeted has a different meaning for me, it means being forced to stay in the closet, either from fear within yourself (but this fear has to come from somewhere external, we're not born afraid), or from an openly negative environment.

Day 7 – How your parents took it or how you think they might take it

I'm out two and a half years to my parents. It's been a long journey. When I first came out in July 2008 they had no idea what was coming. I sat them down during the break of Emmerdale and just told them outright. My Mum denies this now but her jaw hit the floor and she didn't speak for a good five minutes. Dad went into overdrive, asking me loads of questions, how long I'd know etc. It took them both a long time to even mention it to me again. I was on gay overdrive, so thrilled to be out of the closet and discovering my new community. I must have been tough to love with, especially as it was all so new to them. But gradually they came round to the idea. Mum first. I knew they were okay with it when they started joking, my Mum in particular asking if women were just as bad as men!

They've met a few of my partners over the past 30 months, liked and disliked, but treated them all with the same respect they treated any boy my sister or I ever brought home. They've stood up for me against ignorant family members and adore my girlfriend.

Day 6 – Did you face any problems regarding religion?

I was a very religious kid, went to church every Sunday, said my prayers, wanted to be a nun at one point. The major problem I faced regarding religion was the disappointment I felt. The current Pope has denounced homosexuality as a mortal sin, if I were to continue being a member of the Catholic Church I would have to at best hide my sexuality and at worst go for de-gaying. So I left the Church.

I'm still a spiritual person, I believe in different things, but I won't be getting over the dissapointment of being let down by the Church of my childhood anytime soon.

Day 5 – Thoughts regarding inner turmoil about your sexuality; Did you have any? Did it escalate to self-injury or suicidal thoughts?

Inner turmoil and I know each other very well. To say being gay terrified me is an understatement. I was a good Catholic girl, a quiet girl, I was going to grow up and marry a good man and make my parents and God happy. I also considered being a nun for a while.

I'm still not sure if my turmoil about my sexuality is what led me to become suicidal. It was a combination of a lot of things. I was also (and to an extent still am) an over-eater for the purpose of trying to comfort myself.